untitled

"Howie: what am I to you?
Sara: ...Boyfriend, lover...
(pause)
Sex partner?"

That was a conversation between Howie and Sarah in my next play, Fireflies which is due to be staged in April. They're unsure as what they are to each other. These terms listed below are some of the terms that I never got to grasp?

• Non-exclusive
• Open relationship
• Poly amorous

I never learned lessons on how to love. When I love, I love wholeheartedly. I do not know how to hold back. And that's the reason, dear non-audience, I fall hard and get hurt in massive amounts. A truckload of heartache. Friends have told me to separate my feelings, physical and emotional, I've even tried, but it results in epic failures.

After a conversation with a couple of girlfriends a few nights ago, I found out that I could never be able to separate emotional and physical love. To me, love and lust walk hand in hand. No matter how hard I try.

I have given up trying. I will continue to be myself, to not seperate the two. I will love and lust simultaneously.