Oh, 2009.

Here I am, sitting on a faded blue seat, on a train back to kl. Leaving my birthplace feeling ever so nostalgic, that knot in the pit of my stomach that I try so hard to ignore as i reminisce this whole year.

2009.

It's almost coming to and end. Feels like its ended even before it started. Not as happy as the previous year but certainly as eventful. I want to dive into the new year with new hopes, dreams and aspirations, as well as fulfilling those wishes that I didn't manage to fulfill. Not wanting to drag in bouts of regret from 2009.

But I'm only human. I tend to over expect things for myself and push myself more than I intend to. I keep wanting more out of myself, trying to bite off more than I can chew. I still have many unsettled issues, benchmarks that I've not reached and issues with which I have been procrastinating. Instead of fretting over those under acheived goals, I should be appreciative of all the good things that I've been blessed with.

It's OK if i don't have my dream career, I'm only just turning 23 and have a good job. It's alright if my application for that brilliant scholarship has been denied, I am looking forward to working on a new play in April 2010! It's OK that I live on my own, I still have a brilliant family that I can run home to during the weekend. It's OK that I do not have a special someone, it only means I have more time to spend with my glittering circle of friends. It's ok that I don't have a huge amount of life savings, At least I'm having a blast globetrotting!

I have learnt too many valuable lessons through many uncalled for actions. I do not intend to regret any of those. Everything happens for a reason. People I least expect have lied, cheated, manipulated, deceived and hurt me. Being a tough cookie, I've learnt to swallow it like a jagged little pill and move on. Things happen and people change. They're only human, as I am.

I'm proud to have become the woman I've been brought up to be.
I refuse to make resolutions for the new year. Instead, I'll make a mental note of a list of wants. I believe the gods will grant me what I need from that list. If the wants are unacheived, then so be it.

Life is what you make of it.

Happy 2010!