Klang: no place like home!

Some call it home, some call it a playground, and some call it workplace. Klang.
Like a sound that transpires from shaking an empty tin can containing a pebble. Was once the safest, prettiest, calmest place to live in and has now entwined with negativity to become a different sort of hell all together. Here is a list of things one who is visiting Klang can expect to see, do and experience:

The amazing mamak: Most of them are just great but I specifically adore the one opposite Esso in Melawis. I mean seriously, whichever Klangite who doesn’t know this should already be halfway packing their bags to migrate.

Car wash: If there is a graph plot depicting ‘Car wash vs. The amazing mamak’, it will be directly proportional. Almost EVERY car wash is opened next to a mamak. What a delightful little marketing idea! Now, swiftly moving on…

Snatch thieves: For best results, walk around with larger than life handbags and huge gold necklaces. The attackers usually move in pairs. Their steps include passing a possible victim, checking out victims items, leaving to produce an “I’m just passing by, don’t mind me” effect and turning around to snatch. If one is lucky, he/she (mostly a she) will be spared the ever famous “Parang”.

Car break-ins: Also quite a popular source of income for A**holes. Normally targeted at cars with “smart tags”, a few coins in the coin compartment; and even when some real bird-brained ladies leave their handbags under the car seat. Hello, that happens to be the first place these douche bags look! Some would even break in to steal a kid’s kindergarten schoolbag. If you’re lucky enough, it will not happen while you’re waiting for the traffic light to shine bright green! Anyhoo….

Bad Boys: Quite a vast species. Mostly born in the 80s and are either infidels, clingy or insecure. Do also watch out for those specifically born in ’85. They’re a hilarious bunch. Some also have a funny way of staring at anyone who passes by that tickles their fancy. So if you’re lookin for some Ghetto lovin’ come check it out. Mostly found at The amazing mamak. (*refer to first point).

Here are only some of the things to do in Klang. I’m sure I’m not doing justice to it by not talking about the traffic jam on a certain bridge that takes eons to build, the 3 million temples around the city in the weirdest of places, the cows that graze around next to a huge mall, the most awesome bah kut teh in Telok Pulai that will give you 3 blocks in the heart with each delicious bite and many other more exciting adventures! Oh Klang, home sweet home!